In Love.. Yet so much pain...

They say February is the month of love. And everyone is in the mood to be in loved. Let me just share to you, how painful it is to feel love and how sweet it is to feel love.

It was college days when we met, he was the closest friend of my friend and he calls him "best". I have a bestfriend too, and it is so cool to have one. Actually, I don't even consider him as a friend because, first I only knew him because he was a friend of mine. But after 2 years of our Engineering course, he decided to stop, because of financial problems. It was then I felt something, that triggered me, knowing that I will not see him again. But it was just okay, and that he said he will be back soon, to continue his studies.

Since then, I never saw him again, there were news about him, he had a work, the usual thing about a friend that we don't see. But still, we hoped that he will continue his studies, because just as we have said, "sayang naman, ilang units na lang kaya graduate na sya...", but of course, we can't do anything.

And then, I will never forget, the time he went to school, just to visit us, we were graduating students back then, just to say hello, because I was so "makulit", I always tell him sa text "manlibre ka naman! daya daya mo," or "magpakita ka naman sa amin", so I guess, my pangungulit worked. I never expected that feeling to come out. We ate lunch that day, with the barkada of course. But then, there was this feeling I can't understand. A feeling that I was happy that I saw him. I was wondering, "di naman kasi kami close dati..."

Then graduation came, we invited him but, he did not came that day. Then we planned for an outing, in the beach and as usual "nangulit" na naman ako saying "pag di ka pumunta lahat di pupunta, makonsensya ka..." He went, and we were very happy. We sang in the videoke, usual things.

The sad part came, remember the best friend? Her lola died, then we went to the funeral and syempre kumustahan, we were graduates na that time. We have no work and patambay tambay as they call it. When we went home,it was really late that night, it was past 7pm and I was really worried, may masasakyan pa ba ako. Then, hinatid nya ako hanggang makasakay ako ng jeep. He even bought me a drink. Kasi pagod kaming naglakad. I was really impressed, sa pagka-gentleman nya. From then on I knew, I was falling in love.

We always talk sa text, nakilala ko sya lalo sa text lang. Then I was hired in a company, na punong puno ng pressure. I don't really know paano ako nakakatagal, then I realized its because of my friends who always says "kaya mo yan!", and also because of him. Alam nya lahat ng frustrations ko and disappointments sa sarili ko, he knows it all, and I also know gaano sya nahihirapan kasi wala parin syang work. He is the eldest, and worried kasi nga, he has no work and yet he badly needed one.

Because of that, he needed to find work kahit pa sa ibang bansa. I guess you already know what is next.... Yes, he is in Taiwan right now, and I wish him good luck sa career nya. Even, that means, wala ng magsasabing "kaya mo yan!" or wala ng magsasabing "ingatan mo sarili mo kasi I care" or dahil I feel so left alone. Mahirap, to fall in love, lalo na kung you have different priorities in life. He told me, "magkita tayo after 3 years?", then I said YES... It was so painful, loving someone pero hindi pwede. Now I know.....